Hi.
It's been a while.
I turned 30 three days ago, which has put me in a sort of pensive mood. I am considering keeping a journal of my 30th year and then comparing it to how it was when I was 20. I'm sure I have made some interesting developments since that time.
This afternoon I was in the airport flying home from a relaxing week at the beach. I sat down with my knitting (definitely didn't do that when I was 20) and my Starbuck's (or that either) and across from me were these two girls. I call them girls because I wouldn't call them women and I certainly wouldn't call them ladies, so I'm going with girls.
Anyway, they were not like me. They both had on frayed jeans and flip-flops (okay so far) and very colorful tube tops (yeah, there's the not-like-me part). One of the girls was pretty fleshy and I have to admit that I would occasionally look over my knitting to ponder how on God's green earth that thing was staying on her. There was an excessive amount of elastic, which, in my estimation, was the only thing working for her. I pictured her at home trying to get out of that thing and the only visual I could come up with was a rubberband that's been pulled almost to its limit and then let go. You know how it sort of "pashoongs" around in the cartoons, bouncing off of walls and people ducking out of its way. Maybe she should warn her boyfriend before she takes that thing off. Seriously. She might put out somebody's eye or something.
But I digress.
Back at the oh-so-barely-20 terminal my girls decided they were going to look academic and they busted out their books. Keep in mind that at this point I was thoroughly engaging myself by watching their every move, so I can't say that I was all that surprised when one of them pulled a Harry Potter paperbook out of her bag. It was somewhat humorous that she was still in the first chapter and though I hate to judge people based on their looks (this is me rolling my eyes) I got the impression that reading was not something she did very often.
Now before you go all "no-she-dit-unt" on me, I know lots of people in various age categories read the Harry Potter books, but trust me when I say that she was not in the targeted demographic. I would bet my right arm that she borrowed it from her little sister because she didn't have any books of her own. Though I will give my girls props for actually busting out books instead of "Seventeen" or "Teen Glamour."
Again, I digress.
So if smacking their gum like cud-chewing cows was not enough, they turned out to be gigglers. This was when I really knew that my age was starting to kick in because my first thought was "If they are sitting any where near me on the plane I will poke myself in the ears until the rushing sound of blood drowns out their hideous cackling." While that may sound somewhat dramatic I was already starting to put together a plan for how I would bribe the flight attendant to muzzle them with those air bags they have for emergency situations......you know, in the event that the ear-poking didn't turn out to be such an effective plan.
Good Lord, I haven't heard giggling like that since I was in 7th grade. And that probably explains why the girl hadn't gotten past page 35 of the Harry Potter book. They couldn't stop laughing. At one point I considered suggesting to them that they try out for "America's Got Talent."
The Hoff: "And what's your talent?"
Girls: "We wear really tight tube tops and then we laugh hysterically until they fly off and poke somebody in the eye!"
My imagining was interrupted by the boarding call and I was all too relieved when I saw that they were in the first few rows and I was sitting closer to the back of the plane. It did give me a quick opportunity to size up how they were able to move around in those ungodly tight tube tops and I'm proud to say that they managed it without flashing so much as half a nipple.
Some day they will be me. Thirty years old and losing tolerance for the giddy girls with nothing more to worry about than how they'll keep their boobies inside of their tube tops. I guess in a way it's presumptuous of me to judge them by how they looked and assume that they have no worries. But it sure made me feel a hell of a lot better.
It's been a while.
I turned 30 three days ago, which has put me in a sort of pensive mood. I am considering keeping a journal of my 30th year and then comparing it to how it was when I was 20. I'm sure I have made some interesting developments since that time.
This afternoon I was in the airport flying home from a relaxing week at the beach. I sat down with my knitting (definitely didn't do that when I was 20) and my Starbuck's (or that either) and across from me were these two girls. I call them girls because I wouldn't call them women and I certainly wouldn't call them ladies, so I'm going with girls.
Anyway, they were not like me. They both had on frayed jeans and flip-flops (okay so far) and very colorful tube tops (yeah, there's the not-like-me part). One of the girls was pretty fleshy and I have to admit that I would occasionally look over my knitting to ponder how on God's green earth that thing was staying on her. There was an excessive amount of elastic, which, in my estimation, was the only thing working for her. I pictured her at home trying to get out of that thing and the only visual I could come up with was a rubberband that's been pulled almost to its limit and then let go. You know how it sort of "pashoongs" around in the cartoons, bouncing off of walls and people ducking out of its way. Maybe she should warn her boyfriend before she takes that thing off. Seriously. She might put out somebody's eye or something.
But I digress.
Back at the oh-so-barely-20 terminal my girls decided they were going to look academic and they busted out their books. Keep in mind that at this point I was thoroughly engaging myself by watching their every move, so I can't say that I was all that surprised when one of them pulled a Harry Potter paperbook out of her bag. It was somewhat humorous that she was still in the first chapter and though I hate to judge people based on their looks (this is me rolling my eyes) I got the impression that reading was not something she did very often.
Now before you go all "no-she-dit-unt" on me, I know lots of people in various age categories read the Harry Potter books, but trust me when I say that she was not in the targeted demographic. I would bet my right arm that she borrowed it from her little sister because she didn't have any books of her own. Though I will give my girls props for actually busting out books instead of "Seventeen" or "Teen Glamour."
Again, I digress.
So if smacking their gum like cud-chewing cows was not enough, they turned out to be gigglers. This was when I really knew that my age was starting to kick in because my first thought was "If they are sitting any where near me on the plane I will poke myself in the ears until the rushing sound of blood drowns out their hideous cackling." While that may sound somewhat dramatic I was already starting to put together a plan for how I would bribe the flight attendant to muzzle them with those air bags they have for emergency situations......you know, in the event that the ear-poking didn't turn out to be such an effective plan.
Good Lord, I haven't heard giggling like that since I was in 7th grade. And that probably explains why the girl hadn't gotten past page 35 of the Harry Potter book. They couldn't stop laughing. At one point I considered suggesting to them that they try out for "America's Got Talent."
The Hoff: "And what's your talent?"
Girls: "We wear really tight tube tops and then we laugh hysterically until they fly off and poke somebody in the eye!"
My imagining was interrupted by the boarding call and I was all too relieved when I saw that they were in the first few rows and I was sitting closer to the back of the plane. It did give me a quick opportunity to size up how they were able to move around in those ungodly tight tube tops and I'm proud to say that they managed it without flashing so much as half a nipple.
Some day they will be me. Thirty years old and losing tolerance for the giddy girls with nothing more to worry about than how they'll keep their boobies inside of their tube tops. I guess in a way it's presumptuous of me to judge them by how they looked and assume that they have no worries. But it sure made me feel a hell of a lot better.
posted by Tiffany | 9:40 PM
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